Living Hope

Sleeping peacefully in the other room is a 20 day old baby.  She has dark hair and a dimple in her right cheek from her daddy.  She is chatty when awake like her momma.  So far she does not care for baths and can spit her pacifier what seems like several feet if she isn't in the mood for it.  She grins in her sleep and likes to discuss the events of the day from about 10pm-1am nightly.  All of her newborn diapers, onesies and sleepers are too big for her but we make it work...however, she is not thrilled with layettes because the elastic at the bottom is very frustrating when being pulled over her head.  She is quite possibly the most popular baby in the Pacific Northwest and is relishing all the attention that goes with that honor.  Her mother is officially banned from running any more errands around town without her.  Her father is in full-blown protection mode and has threatened to up his quota of speeding tickets in town now that his precious cargo is out and about...you've been warned.  Friends and family adore her, the cats ignore her and I have never been happier in my whole life.

I couldn't believe my ears when Dr Lacey stated nearly 3 weeks ago that I was being induced...she's coming?  Like...NOW?  Today?  Well, technically early the next morning...and suddenly there she was.  Wriggling and perfect.  A hard and fast labor with no time for an epidural when the hell hit. OHMYGOSH nothing prepares you for that kind of pain.  I think I was traumatized for a couple days.  And yet, just as everyone says, it's so worth it.  And I'd do it again to get her here.  By day 3 I'd forgotten the madness of labor and was floating on Cloud 9.  God bless antidepressants, support and prayer because I'm sure I'm prone to baby blues but currently I feel absolutely amazing and I'm so thankful not to be battling that at the moment.

Thanks to two amazing friends and a really great boss I'm off work until sometime in June (I'm purposely being vague about a return date) and when I do go back I get to bring Liv with me to the office.  She already has a pack 'n' play waiting for her there and I think she'll be flexible with me to make that work.

For the time being it's nice to have dinner brought to us while we settle into 2-3 hour feedings, lots of diapers, short bouts of fussing and lots of cuddles.  She is a very happy baby who only gets mad in the tub, when she's been up for 3 hours or I'm running late with a feeding (mo-om!  you're 5 minutes late!)

I can't stop staring at her.  She's the most beautiful thing I've ever laid eyes on.  She's my miracle; my answer to prayer; the long-awaited member of our family.  She is Olivia Hope.  Liv for short.  Live Hope.  My life lesson over the past 6 years.  6 years of trying to build a family wrought with heartache, grief, and much waiting.  And she is SO worth the wait.

Trust steadily in God.  Hope unswervingly.  Love extravagantly.  

Corinthians 13:13 The Message