Almost a year and a half...

My kid said, "Dang it all" the other day.

One guess who she learned that from.  :/

She can say "shoe" but it comes out more like "shoo-hoo"

She can say "Phoebe" (beebee), diaper (dye-puh), mama and daddy.  and kitty-kitty-kitty

18 months old is a scream. 

She is asserting her preferences whenever possible. Demanding where her morning bottle will be consumed: NOT in her room in the dark where mom hopes she might fall back asleep at 6am but out in the living room with all the lights turned on and cats accounted for.  She points to different places in the kitchen depending on what she is hungry for: the bread box, the fruit basket, the cupboard with the goldfish crackers, etc. 

She wants to pet the kitties SO BADLY.  She's getting much better about not hitting them but instead pets gently and wants to cuddle them.  All. Day. 

 

 

The other day she was watching Goofy cartoons with a fistful of Cheerios in one hand and a graham cracker in the other.  She was leaning on 1 foot against the couch and when Goofy did his yell off a cliff she giggled.  It was so...innocent.  pure. fresh.  the laughter of a child that made all the drama in the world just drain off and fade away.  She brings so much light into our world.  The way she pads around the house in her sleep sack in the morning looking like a little ghost or how she runs across the kitchen floor when Ken is on all fours chasing her.  The belly laugh she does when either of us makes puking noises (still not sure why that's so funny...apparently she has the sense of humor of a 12 year old boy.) 

 

She's in a very lovey phase right now.  She might crawl up in your lap, grab your cheeks with both hands to make her face her and then plant a kiss right on your lips.  over. and over. and over. and over.  and she won't let you turn your face away.  We're going to have to go over this kissing etiquette eventually...

 

Case in point...this is Liv trying to give her friend Noah a kiss...

 

 

She's also really attached to me right now.  I knew that would be a hard phase but it's especially hard that she won't let Ken give her a bottle before bed.  Now that it's much more difficult to have her with me all day at work occasionally it makes it harder for me to consider some child care options with her being like this.  Ahhhhhhh, the transitions of babyhood.  sniff.

 

Luckily, she also takes pretty well to people fairly quickly.  I love watching her play with Sami and Grandma Dixie at church, Rocky and Michelle at the office and Macy and Brooklyn whenever she sees them.  She plays so well with kids of all ages...so grown up on the inside....as evidenced here by curling up in a blanket just like daddy:

 

And blessed is she who believed that there would be a

fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.”  

Luke 1:45

 

Thoughts on marriage

" I see you, Devil.  And I declare war."

A wrote this on my Facebook wall a few weeks ago.  Not surprisingly, I've felt like a target has been on my back, so to speak, ever since.

You can't shine a spotlight on the undercover plans of the enemy and not expect them to come out swinging.  And so he has.  Bring it on.  All it's really done is riled me up even more.

I'm seeing the goal: undermine an individual. destroy a marriage. bomb a family. forfeit a society. repeat.

Gotta start somewhere if you want to take the system down.  Personally, I'm seeing the strategy where I live as taking out marriages.  The devil feeds a bunch of lies to one spouse, who gulps them down, turns on the other spouse and bails.  By taking out 1 person you effectively take out an entire family.

The consequences of those decisions then send a ripple effect for YEARS.

In a couple of generations of this you end up with a broken society with a bunch of hopeless, confused, angry, wounded people running around inflicting their own pain on everyone around them.

I'm aware that I'm seriously over simplifying here and I'm aware that both spouses have a share of blame in the demise of a marriage...but in general, this is what I see at work.  And to set off the chain of dominoes you really only have to take out 1 person.

In the 8 years we've lived in Oroville I personally know of 24 divorces that have been filed.  In a town of less than 2,000 people, 24 is a ridiculously high number for those more or less in my circle.

Now let me temporarily flash side-ways.

Have you heard of the Nashville Statement?  It's an evangelical "manifesto" of marriage and gender identity.  And it's blowing up social media.  Of course there is a ton of backlash on anyone having the nerve to state that the Bible declares marriage to be between 1 man and 1 woman in lifetime covenant under God. 

My point isn't to argue the 14 points of the manifesto, or whether or not it should have been named after a city in TN, or argue about how we should treat people who genuinely feel that were born in the wrong body or fight about if someone should be allowed to name their domestic partner in their insurance papers.  I have varying opinions on these matters that could fill a blog another time.

My point is to state that the objective of the enemy is clear: If we can break down the family unit, we can destroy society. 

And newsflash:  it's working.

Without going into a lot of detail, I've been privy to some statistics recently concerning kids in my community and some of the details are alarming.  I'm shocked at the number of kids saying they are depressed or full of anger they don't know how to direct.  They find illicit substances in their own homes and have easy access to alcohol.  Rarely is anyone policing these items especially if there is only 1 legal guardian in the home (and frequently that person is not a parent but another family member.) 

Why would a child find themselves in need of medicating their depression and anger?  Why would they need to numb low self-esteem and feelings of worthlessness? Why would they turn to addictive substances if they felt loved and cared for at home?  If their physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual needs were being met?  For a millions reasons, really, but there is NO WAY you can convince me that there isn't a connection between rising emotional and mental issues with kids and the increasing number of broken homes in our society.

I'm a firm believer in something called Generational blessing and cursing.  There is a strong correlation between 1 generation experiencing things like addiction, divorce and teen pregnancy and the next generation following in it's footsteps.  Often broken homes beget broken homes.  Teen mothers have kids that also become teen mothers.  And so I firmly believe that our society doesn't function within a bubble.  The choices we individually make absolutely DO affect those around us.  The Apostle Paul wrote in his second letter to the Corinthian church that when 1 part of the body suffers, the whole body suffers.  This isn't just in reference to the Christian Body but is also a picture of human interaction.  We do not live isolated lives.

And so when someone hurts and feels broken and makes broken choices, it 100% affects those around them.  First and foremost, your marriage partner, your children, your immediate family, your extended family and then on to your neighbors and friends.  Think of the last time you knew a friend was struggling with something...you felt their hurt, right?  And when you see the consequences of someone's actions you feel those consequences yourself.

Why does it matter that I'm writing about this?  Because the broken lives of friends around me...those 24 broken marriages... makes my heart hurt.  The suffering they are experiencing is walking around in their spouse.   In their children.  In their church.  In their workplace.  The broken identity, the hopelessness, the anger, the entitlement, the pride...it rubs off on others and we wear the stains of each other on ourselves because we are bound together. 

So yeah.  It matters to me.  It matters to me if you walk out on your marriage.  It matters to me when your addiction makes your children feel like they have to compete for your attention.  It matters to me when your identity is skewed by the devil's lies...an entire generation's morals is being re-written to accommodate your choices. It matters to me if you are imprisoned in depression, anger, greed, fear or hatred. 

Why do we Christians talk about our faith and supposedly interfere in the lives of other people?   The World says, "They should just mind their own business.  They just want to make everyone exactly like them.  They want to strip everyone of their rights and interrupt everyone's fun."

If there's a way out of your chains, don't you want to know about it?  If there is a light at the end of the tunnel don't you want to be led there?  If there are answers to the things you search for and are not finding do you want someone to tell you?

This is the Good News.  That Jesus Saves.  That faith in Him can CHANGE YOU.  That we don't all have to be exactly the same but when we see another in bondage we should SAY SOMETHING.

World:  I'm not always going to say what you want to hear.  I can't always pat you on the back and tell you the path you're on is going to eventually make you happy.  I can't always tell you it'll eventually be OK.  Sometimes you gotta hear that you're wrong.  That what you've been fed is a bunch of lies.  That you're letting the enemy win.

I'm speaking my truth.  #sorrynotsorry

I have a toddler

sniff.

I cannot believe how fast that happened.  One minute she's 6 pounds and seems so breakable.  I'm terrified that she's not breathing in her sleep and check on her every 10 minutes.  I worry about her rolling off something or being swaddled too tight or the cats licking her face.

Now she's walking.  Toddling everywhere.  She's absolutely filthy from the office tile floors and the other day I caught her just as she was about to eat a bug.  I pick Cheerios up off the floor and give them to back to her.

Liv is such a JOY.  My bestie mentioned the other day that she seems to be such a happy baby and I couldn't agree more.  She is CONSTANTLY babbling happily.  When we drove to Sunnyside a few weekends ago she talked. the. entire. way. all. 5. hours.  :/

She's also quite...shall we say, aggressive?  :/  Hilarity ensued when she and her twin cousins wrestled at Grandma's.  All 3 just giggled and rolled all over each other.  But Liv was extra WWE.  She body slammed poor Teddy.  Thank goodness they are so gentle with her but as she gets bigger we may be giving them permission to deck her in order to get her off them.  #girlscanwrestletoo

Now that's she's walking I can REALLY see her babiness melt away into this feisty little girl.  She also finally learned to take a sippy cup.  She wandered past my desk drinking the sippy and holding graham cracker and I just though, "where did this kid come from?"  I thought I had a newborn still.

She just LOVES to be outside with me while I garden and she LOVES animals.  It's joy overload when she's in the front yard and all the neighborhood dogs are barking.  We all have chain link fences so she can see them running, jumping and barking.  What usually annoys me about these loud animals roaming the streets has turned into a laugh fest as I hear her happy screeches.

Ken and I laughed so hard the other day by some expressions on her little face...she cracks herself up and has this certain hahaha that lets us know she knows something is a special treat just for her.

I honestly don't even know how to end this post...I never ever knew how much fun babies could be.  Never really having been a good baby-person (give me teenagers any day)  I just love how much joy bubbles up in me when I'm with this child :D

Almost 1!

My baby girl is 25 days away from turning a year old.

 Wow...had no idea 12 months could fly by that fast.  Especially when all the years before crawled by at a snails pace.

Buggy is SO. FAST!  She started crawling about 2 months ago and it's amazing to watch her discover that something new improves her life...as soon as she figured out crawling would get her close to something she wanted to inspect she was OFF!

A little over a week ago she started pulling herself up against the couches and now she barely holds on with one hand as she reaches for whatever is in the pillows...include sleeping cats.  Phoebe. is. not. impressed.  Thankfully, Pheebs also does not scratch/swipe/bite/attack her.  Praise the Jesus. 

They could be friends. Sometimes.

She also does this:

 

 

If there is any doubt that I was involved in making her (since she looks exactly like her daddy)  just listen for her screeching like a banshee.  Or watch her get excited around her little friends when they come over.  She gets right up in their face and she lets loose a scream of glee that generally makes them burst into tears.  Yup. That's all me.

 

She still doesn't eat solid foods very well although we are making strides with the puffs snacks.  finally.  But small pieces of bread/fruit/veggies are a no go.  pureed only.  So we head to Seattle next week to have her tongue tie snipped.  I've got all my eggs in this basket that after she recovers we'll see major strides forward in her ability to chew. 

 

chewing = eating more = staying full = sleeping longer = happier mom

 

Liv still comes to work with me in the mornings since daddy's on night shift until the end of the month.  I have a makeshift baby gate to contain her in the corner of the office foyer.  she can't see me.  she generally doesn't like it.  So most of the time she sits in her high chair looking out the office window.  Once daddy moves to day shift we'll have weekends off and nights together but mom will be bringing her into the office ALL. DAY.  pray for me.  she refuses to sleep at the office. except when she accidentally dozes off in her jumperoo...

 

 

 

She is a MAJOR giggler.  and SOOOOO ticklish.  I love that sound.  LOVE the sound of her laugh.  It echoes around the room.  It's so easy to get her going and it's funny to see her sorta wiped out after laughing so hard for so long.  Yesterday she tried tickling Ken's knee!!  So cute how they copy everything.  So cute for now, I'm sure.  haha.  And then there's the pillows.  Put a pillow or blanket on the floor and she's all about it. 

 

 

She has 5 teeth and a 6th broke through yesterday.  She's got such a beautiful smile anyway but the pearly whites only enhance that.  Sometimes I just can't stop staring at her.  Her wide, beautiful hazel eyes and long lashes.  stop it. 

 

Nana and Papa and Grandma are all coming for her first birthday and we've invited her birthday buddy, Dwayne, and all his family to join us.  I'm thinking smash cakes for both the 1 year old AND the 44 year old.  *smirk*

 

It's been a whirlwind of a year.  Sometimes it's sad to see a season go but more often whatever she's on to next is so much fun I don't miss what we left behind.  She's not so tiny or innocent :D anymore but she's so curious and funny and sassy.  I can't wait for her to be able to tell me what she wants and needs.  I think she knows what Mama and Dada are but usually it comes out mamamamama and dadadada or as my mom loves: nananananana

 

At the end of the day there are still snuggles.  I hope she never grows out of that.  Happy almost 1st birthday, Buggy.  Mama loves you to the moon and back. xoxo