Six years ago tonight, at 0128, our little miracle came into this world. To say the previous 4 years were hard would be an understatement. There was the loss of Jaxson in 2012 and a miscarriage of a second, we refer to as Kiwi in 2014. So, around August of 2015 after trying and trying, we had basically made the decision not to try anymore. However, on a Sunday night towards the end of that September while I was in the Tri-Cities for some training, Jana showed me the pregnancy test via Skype. I think my statement was, “how the hell did that happen.” Needless to say, the next 9 months were some stress filled months with a few scares, but we made it.
The afternoon before she was born. I was at my house in the living room when I got a call from Jana. She was at a planned visit to the doctors in Tonasket. She said Rocky her boss was going to come pick me up and take me to the hospital. They were going to induce her. After a few more stressful hours, Ms. Hope arrived. One of the first things Jana asked the doctor as she was in tears, was if she was OK. She was and she was perfect.
That night/morning as I was laying down in the room and had Liv on my chest, she made the cutest chirps and coos and she hasn’t stopped making noise since. Which I would say she gets from her mom. However, I would also say she is a great blend of Jana and I. She has a kind heart and can make friends at a drop of a hat. She is very inquisitive and loves school. Car rides are full of questions of “How do you say, spell. or what does that say” or “give me a hard math problem.” She is probably going to one of those annoying kids that are good in both English (mom) and Math (dad). She has a quirky and goofy sense humor like my mom and just cracks herself up at times. (If you know my mom, you know what I mean.) She is in fully kitty mode and loves everything about kitties. I’m training her in the ways of rock and roll. She loves listening to Skillet and I have a play list for her called “Olivia’s Jesus Music” with Sovereign Grace Music which she listens to a night.
I often look in my rearview mirror while driving and I am hit with a truck load of emotions. There is fear because of what we have already gone through with Jaxson. There is fear of me not being around for her as she grows up. There is a sense of my responsibility and my life long battle of self-doubt and confidence that I’m not up to it. It is overwhelming how much she loves me, and I know because I can hear it in her voice when she calls me “daddy.” Then there is awe of this amazing creation of God’s and how she is a gift from above. Ultimately amongst the battle of emotions, I know He is sovereign, and I will l rest in that even if it is a daily battle. I will do my best to raise her and enjoy it as much as possible. In the meantime, Happy Birthday Olivia Hope Waddell. Your mom and dad love you more than you know.
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